Lovely wife spent a day with her sisters, so there was a rare father/son(s) opportunity to have a day together. This could easilly have been three people in separate rooms on electronic devices, but, moved by the spirit of summer, I proposed that we would go and play “Foot Golf”.
This attraction is boasted as a feature by a local golf course, and, I assumed, based on a couple of pictures, involves oversize holes and kicking (vice clubbing) a football, into them (broadly correct). Just the ticket for Dad and boys to mess around for a couple of hours outdoors.
Rather to my surprise both boys agreed to this proposal! So, shortly after, armed with sun hat and waterbottles, we were checking in for our round at “the clubhouse”.
I explanied that we had never been before, and the youthful attendant (I’m tempted to say 16, but I suspect more like 20), indicated that we should proceed “up the road, through the woods, and the start was on our left…”
About 10 yards in on the (barely) tarmacadamed road, a dirt track veered off left, with no signage and no suggeston of much traffic. After some debate and gentle scouting, I oppinioned that “through the woods” suggested we would come out and that perhaps the start was further away and we would work back towards the “clubhouse”. This seemed reasonable- at the time.
After a brisk 15 minutes of walking through the woods, -lots of muddy tacks going nowhere branching off- we meet a helpful local who intimates that we have come much too far, are now completely outside the course and surrounded by farmland.
We hasten back, mindful that we have a timed slot. Back in fact to that first dirt track, which, completely unsignposted, leads us to a ditch (mercifully dry) which we must vault, and then splits into several narrower meandering trails admid the trees. By luck rather than judgement we find that one of these does in fact lead to “tee 1”. (Where the others lead? for another day).
My pre-conceptions were of something perhaps like an oversize “crazy golf”, however, Foot golf – taken quite seriously in some quarters – with national tournaments & sponsored gear- is full size. While there was some variation, holes were generally 100 yards plus (some 200). In general, teeing off requires a very substantial punt. This was reassonable for 15 y.o. sporty son, intermitantly possible for 17 y.o. geeky son, and a total loss for 57 y.o. dad.
We were also very late in starting, so that the next party (5 lads) was always waiting for us to clear. (A second group tailed them similarly, indeed the course was pretty busy). In consequence we were constantly moving, running and kicking up the full eighteen hole course, with little pause. I’d also like to note, it was not flat!
From the point of view of father son engagement, I’d consider this a success. Certainly a more healthy day than “laze in bed reading manga” which appears to be the main holiday occcupation. I note, with a small particle of personal satisfaction, that in certain conditions, my large number of feeble kicks, is still more efficiant than an amazing punt that lands 50 yards into the dense, grass, heather, thistles, and then takes 4 shots to get back on the green. Also only one person actually managed a birdie (and guess who pulled off that fluke?).
Still, as these are jaded teenage boys, “we are never going again”, not even with visiting cousins, cause it’s “not worth it”. I’m not sure I agree. However I leave the last word to my completely untrained and unexcersied thighs and knees, who have had much to say on this event, mostly along the lines of “AIYA! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!”
Next week On IaDL ; Anyone know a good sports physio?
Dalmallyfest the Asylum 