It’s a Dogs Life 61

I don’t often get any “downtime” at work these days. Between the recovering economy, the school work and the never ending admin, it’s frequently all go. However the job also involves bizzarre, and off the wall enquiries (from drivers and public), which can themselves be a “diversion” from the daily grind.

So last night, my colleague seeking such an answer, stumbled upon an establishment on the south side (of Glasgow), which advertises “Archery and Fencing”. I should clarify that this is “medieval” fencing – with broadswords! Your effete foil and epee users need not apply.

Also catering for parties, work nights out, team building and stag events.

I shall quote directly from their webpage : “consider a stag party with swords. Swords are cool, and you can spend the day hitting your friends with swords”.

I love this idea! Where was this when I was getting married!

What could possibly go wrong….

[Wavey lines, wavey lines – fade -fade -fade, picture returns and has an unreal 1980’s look with washed out colours. Ties are wider, girls have “big hair”, the boys have hair. Everyone has a more youthful cast. It’s a Christmas party in a (large) student flat. Gifts are being taken from under the tree…..]

“I think we better open these to at the same time, we wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise”

Two very similar long thin but solid, wrapped gifts are exchanged. Young Tony (I am not yet Lucky Dog) and young Tam, laugh at the fact we have obviously bought each other the same thing.

Matching Bokken! (It’s a Japanese wooden “practise” sword, made of oak. They are very hard).

Laughter all round as Tam and Tony posture and pose, with our gifts.

“Right! Put them away now before someone gets hurt!” (Voice of Reason, which was probably Kay).

We take the dueling stance of two samurai facing off. Then someone notes that our swords should be tucked in our belts (through sashes).

“This is going to end badly…”

But those with cameras are taking photos (no phones here), so we bow, and draw with elaborate flourish as we step in for a simple sword on sword…

“My dose!,,, my dose is broken!,,,maybe not but,,,, ow!”

“My eye!… I’m blind!….no I’m not..but…my eye!”

The bokken are taken off us by soberer hands and put out of the way. Tam and I toast our respective injuries with some healing vodka.

Fade back to 2022

“So when can we book?”

Next week on IaDL : That’s a nasty cut Mr Wilson, what happened?

PS: I really have nothing against Foil and Epee, to each their own, I was a Sabre man.