Time. Mostly this just flows by unnoticed, unremarked, with no recognition of any lessening of the tide ahead, nor any appreciation of the growing depth behind. Sometimes a major anniversary can bring a pause of reflection, sometimes a chance comment or event lends a stark focus.
It’s car insurance renewal, and due to previous eye issues (see virtually every IaDL from 2022), this is in my wife’s name.
Now I passed my test in the Paleo-lithic period, but Chris was wondering aloud how long since a certain claim incident (more than 5 years?{yes}), and noted in a throw away comment, that she had held her license more than 20 years. HOLD UP, more than 20 years? Wait! I knew her when she passed, some of her practise was in “my” car. (Brave woman)
Given that the reason for learning was the pending arrival of our now 20 year old son, who is a daily presence in our lives, this would seem obvious. Nathan himself, 21 this year, is testimony to the longevity of our relationship, but perhaps because he simply IS a constant feature, he does not bring the same focus.
Twenty (20) Years! and of course we have been together somewhat longer, and yet neither of us were dewy eyed youngsters at that time (unclear if I was ever a dewy eyed youngster).
Traditionally I should exclaim, “where has the time gone?” , but I actually know the answer; uncounted shifts worked, deciding what to make for dinner (no one ever tells you how much of parenting this is!) , commuting… and so the list goes, and it’s true most of the hours flit by in mundane acts of life, but I am (now) wise to that subtle trap of memory so instead I summon up the twenty years of shared moments and trips away, of carousing with friends, of songs sung, poems declaimed, surprises opened, epic victories, and memorable defeats. 20 years (and more) of smiles, laughter, achievement (shared or personal).
I think the question, the very traditional question, is very wrong, because it casts the answer in terms of loss.
What we have to ask, and more importantly – how we have to live – is;
“How did we fit all that in?”
Next week on IaDL… Look! it’s a guitar…
Dalmallyfest the Asylum 