(Health and safetly violation)
An old friend came in from out of town, my tux didn’t come back from the cleaners, there was a earthquake, a terrible flood….
Actually, just a run of nights into long days and lot to do (also I didn’t catch fire, or fall, or get diagnosed with some new ailment).
I did finally get to perform the “steam pudding song” (for the handful who hadn’t heard it). Astonishingly, before I had even unpacked my guitar, I was actually asked to tell that very story….
For the benefit of the hard of hearing, lyrics follow:
Slow Blues tempo (wasn’t actually written that way, but it works too well)
I like my tinned steam pudding, I love that treacle pud! With custard or with ice-cream, it might be my favourite food.
But the tin comes with a warning, big words to catch the eye, when cooking, take precaution: and Don’t let the pan boil dry!
No, don’t let the pan boil dry, don’t let the pan boil dry.
If you want that treat, turn down the heat and don’t let the pan boil dry.
Don’t let the pan boil dry, don’t let the pan boil dry.
There’s six words on it, in a really big font – don’t let the pan boil dry.
I was cooking my steam pudding, in a pan that’s boiling hot, the doorbell rang, a friend came by, the pudding was forgot.
When I got back to the kitchen, well the tin was just a sphere, though it was hard to make that out, in the steamy atmosphere.
I let the pan boil dry! No! I let the pan boil dry!
Should’ve played it cool, there’s just one rule – don’t let the pan boil dry
I let the pan boil dry! Oh I let the pan boil dry!
It’s a big Boo-boo, I’m telling you, when you let the pan boil dry.
The pudding sat there glowing, and the pan had burned right through, I put them in the kitchen sink, what else was there to do?
As it sat there softly pulsing, like a football made of steel, I wondered if inside there might be pudding still congealled?
I let the pan boil dry, don’t let the pan boil dry!
It was simply greed, I wanted that feed, though I’d let the pan boil dry.
I let the pan boil dry, don’t let the pan boil dry!
Should’ve walked away, it would have saved the day, when I let the pan boil dry!
The tin had stopped vibrating, the outside seemed quite cool, but no opener would fasten on, I proceded like a fool!
I made a small incision, in a place where I should not, and my kitchen was engulfed by treacle pudding scalding hot!
‘Cause I let the pan boil dry, don’t let the pan boil dry!
In a single “Splurt!” it consumed my shirt, when I let the pan boil dry!
I let the pan boil dry, don’t let the pan boil dry!
Was a bad mistake, I wound up wearing my cake, when I let the pan boil dry.
Now you’ve hear my story, you’ll know what not to do! My kitchen was all blistered, I had treacle in my shoe.
My shirt was burned and melted, lucky none went in my eye, but the worst part of this story, is, the pudding was too dry!
I let the pan boil dry, don’t let the pan boil dry!
It’s a big No-win, if you open that tin, when you’ve let the pan boil dry.
I let the pan boil dry, don’t let the pan boil dry!
Can I give you a clue?
The thing you NEVER do…
is to let the pan boil dry!
Note to Tam- as promised, only took thirty years…
Next weelk on IaDL : Well if it’s December, we can use the C word…. (“oh no you can’t”)
Dalmallyfest the Asylum 