(“eleven”?)*
Regular viewers will be aware of my upbringing by punctuality nazis. I’d like to think I’m not that fanatical myself. I just like to get to work in enough time to have a leisurely cup of coffee before I start. Having to park and just run in is likely to spoil my whole day..
An anxious colleague did once phone me because I wasn’t there fifteen minutes early ;
“Has something happened??” (no… the traffic was bad). That was on them though, I hadn’t begun to worry…yet.
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I just worked nine consecutive days, nights into days, which is the worst change, and surviving till my 4 days off, was immediately struck down by a hacking chest infection. This is deeply unfair, but, of course, I am recovered enough to return for night-shift, if sounding rather “hollow” when I try to speak.
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How do these relate?
The motorway is closed. Possibly there has been some advance notice of this, but traffic news has not been my priority these last few days, and – naturally – I have some time in hand.
I am, however, somewhat surprised to be diverted off, and gradually turned back homewards. I am following the diversion signs, indeed I have little choice. In fact, shortly I am all but back home, and then being led a merry dance onto backroads through small towns of East Ayrshire. Whatever is happening, I do not have this kind of delay built in.
It is clear I will be late (Drat!), and my first duty is to let my colleague (Claire) on duty know that I am in fact on the way.
Now I once got 3 points for reflexively answering my phone while stationary at lights – the car behind was a police vehicle… so I now always have “hands-free” as default.
“HELlo g gle…” I hoarse. ————-
“Hello GOOG–” —————————
“Hello GOogle” -“Listening”
” t-xt Claire” ——Listening
“Cough cough cough throat clearing” “TEXT Claire” – Text Clair Byrne the Rte podcast
“—lo Google” “HEllo g<cough)gle” ” hello google” —–Listening
“Text -laire” —- The full text lands – Secret Lair (I have no idea what this is about)
I am also still trying to drive in the dark (and rain), I get several other responses, including
How many boy friends Claire had before (I’m going to say ) Phil (I have even less idea)
Tex Group Clayton…
Air Text pollution forecast…
I give up and pull over to make a call.
Despite everything, I get there just in time, park, and run in.
It’s a cough cough cough life.
Next week on IaDL : How many boyfriends had Claire had before Phil? Anyone? Phil?
*(“Eleven” – you’ve either seen the video or you haven’t)
Dalmallyfest the Asylum 