(Bang!)
steps : 870,892 (Target 770,000)
GI: 6.9 (7 day av) : (
Weight (kg) : 105.8 : )
Money Raised : £145 : )
When the sound of the impact woke me it wasn’t clear that it was my problem.
Six police cars already present did seem a bit odd, and the impacting vehicle was somewhat up the road, clearly having been for a bit of spin, missing a wing and wheel and various other essential bodywork.
What had it hit? …Ah! My parked car. And like some oversize snooker table my red car had cannoned into the next one along.
I’m kind of hoping I’m still asleep, but no, that’s the doorbell and , “yes officer I’m the owner of the SEAT” , “not badly damaged you say? -( did you, leave your glasses at home?)”.
It’s some time before the police are done, the offender arrested (the words “drunk driver” are careful not used, but very heavilly implied), and the three vehicles loaded up and carted away. The officers are sympathetic, but for them it is routine. Have your insurers call us and quote the incident number, we have photos and cctv of the whole thing and we can’t give out the other drivers details to you anyway.
I use the time to fill out the claim form online, seething at the unfairness of life, by the time I get to sleep, it’s time to get up. You might be forgiven for thinking, that that is the extent of the bad experience?
NO. The bad bit was just starting.
It’s the same day and I’m not really expecting to have any update yet, but I check anyway and see that the claim is filled under the wrong date and time. Have I in my confusion and anger got this wrong? I do an online chat to correct this.
1 “S” Hi! my parked car was hit this morning early and I put in the claim, but is showing yesterdays date and the wrong time…..
“S” has left the chat. Chat ends
2. “M” “hi my parked car…..”
“It’s a quirk of the portal sir…we have the correct time and date” (Later figured out portal is GMT not BST).
“while I’m here can you tell me what the next step is?”
“Certainly, I’ll send you a link for photos and details to process your claim”.
“the police have all the details and cctv footage, if you contact them and quote incident…”
“i’m sorry sir we don’t do that at claims, that’s liability..let me transfer you”
3 “Z” (you might foolishly have thought that Z would have the transcript and claim details)…. “Let me start again….”
“I’m sorry sir this liability we only contact the police regarding liabilty issues not vehicle damage… let me put you through to total loss”
4 “C” “Hi do you have any of the past details in this conversation or my claim? No? Let me start again”
C has left the chat, chat is ended.
5 “R” “Hi this is claim XXXX, I’ve been asked to provide some information which I do not have but which the police hold. They have instructed me to give you the incident number and call them….”
“Sorry sir I actually cannot call 101 from this terminal, you’ll need to speak to… a specialist… let me transfer you over. “
6 “S” (different S) “… no I’m sorry that’s liability for the police….they said no?…just a moment…let me transfer you to claims…”
“But claims said…(too late)”
7 “T” “How can I help you”
” Are you able to contact the police regards a claim? You’ll send me the link? I have the link, but I cannot take photos of my car because it’s been removed by the police … where? I don’t know, if you call them I suspect they could give you that information…Station number? It’s Police Scotland…you can’t call 101? “
8 “D” “I’m sorry we are ‘total loss’ (you don’t know the truth of that dear) I don’t know why you’re through to me, let me transfer you…”
9 “K” “So I will call 101 (hooray) but why can’t you fill out the link? ”
” The car is not here, the link requires photo A, and you cannot progress untill you have submitted photo A, which happens to be the mileage on the dashboard (not kidding), which is probably in a depot in Knockintibber (I looked it up online, it’s a guess but a likely one) which you can’t get to except by car…Yes, I often have to call the police in my work, twenty minutes is not unusual…I will need to end the chat to work shortly, could you call me back or at least email?”
“Yes please thank you” (was the exact reply)
K has left the call….
After work I summon my little remaining fortitude
10 “X”(really X – I almost hang up because I am certain that English is not going to be X’s first language and after “K” I had had enough, but I reflect that that is an unfair judgement and proceed) X is patient, helpful and sympathetic, and eventually phones me direct rather than online chat. It is evident that English may be a second language but it is no obstacle to competence or understanding. When I am finally transferred by phone to N (the correct person) it is only after X has already given all relevant details in advance.
11. “N” “Here is an alternative email which will allow you to directly submit the photos you do have in support of your claim, it does sound like your car is a right off, I will forward the police incident number to the relevant department.”
“Thank you”
It looks like a happy ending, sadly there is more…
Next week on IaDL : Chapter the second…
I was supposed to get a feedback form for everyone I spoke to, but didn’t get even one. X and to a lesser extent N deserve every praise and commendation, and I’m ashamed I almost hung up.
Dalmallyfest the Asylum 