(Doctors)
I was going to write about the hugely successful musical jam session, or maybe the uplifting weekend away in the Lake District (there was dancing), or the ludicrous 23 digit alphanumeric password on one odd feature in work (where the password is usually some 4 letter Glasgow football team acronym(all Caps) – or “password”).
I was, but after a lifetime on hold, I’m minded to do a more traditional gripe at the vicitudes of life, and save the nice things for the festive posts.
For complex reasons, some weeks ago, I approached my doctors for a couple of blood tests.
One was for incipient anemia (previously only caught after I was already at the threshold of hospitalizaion, and that was despite- for other purposes – regular bi-weekly blood tests {nobody looked!}), specifically so I can monitor my own iron levels.
The other was an essentially precautionary measure, urged by one of my many dear sisters, however, it is a potentially life threatening (certainly life changing) condition.
After a month, I am a little surprised not to have a call, text or email (all avenues that have been used previously), since blood results have generally taken 3-4 days.
I should in fact be asleep (night shift) but as I’m up anyway I figure I’ll phone to get an update. Now I’m aware this can be a bit of a wait, so it’s better done first thing.
I’m 33 minutes on the first automated service (you are 6 in the queue…), then I’m onto the second (all our operators are still busy), which I’m familar with from personal use, so if you know what your listening for, you can hear the call getting parked, again, and again, and again.
After 48 minutes, I finally get an answer:
“When did you have these tests Mr Wilson?”
“Why have you waited so long to call” !
“Yes both results are fine.”
“I’m aware that it is a serious life threatening condition, but we’re far too busy to phone you….” !!
“No I can’t give you the actual results for the anemia test over the phone.” !!!
“Why would you need the actual number?” (as superhero to concerned civilian, addressing them as “citizen”)!!!!
“Well it wasn’t my fault that no-one acually looked at the numbers then”
“the results are FINE, that’s all I can say” !!!!!
“and a good-day to y…..”
Anemia is “fine”, prostate cancer – clear, blood pressure – sky high.
Next week on IaDL. Something uplifting (probably).
Public service announcement:
While doctors can and do check the prostate “digitally” (finger up the bum), there is a blood test (PSA) which is used for cancer screening. I should note that this is not generally offered, due to a degree of unreliabilty – a relatively high incidence of false positives.
I thought I should mention this as it is; a/ a very common condition(1 man in 8) b/ very survivable if caught early, and, c/ I know too many men who are foolishly squeamish about the idea.
Dalmallyfest the Asylum 